( More rambling about Tyler, thoughts on the movie CRASH, and talk of my mom...Possibly some triggers )

I'm tired. of life, of dealing with everything.

I'm sick of dealing with being beaten and treated like garbage and worthless

I dont have the energy to fight back because then i'll only get hurt more.

I havent got the strength of mind to remember why i used to care so very much about what has happened and what would happened.

Matt says this word is " ( Read more... )

sad  is just an under statement as many of you know my best friend past away in october. well his birthday is on christmas and all i can do is think about him i have been crying for 4 hours straight now i'm pissed that he left that he's gone and i never got the chances to say my good byes i'm hurting so much right now. i feel abonden an so weak ( Read more... )

( Some self harm biting )

I just got back from my counseling session. It went good. In a nice way, I was reminded that If I agree that most of the therepy work occurs outside of a session, then I have to do work outside of it. This, I'm sure, was prompted after I told her that I hadn't really thought about what happen at the last session or let myself feel it again. Yeah. I ( Read more... )

I know I posted recently....but...

For those of you dealing with abandonment issues and rejection issues because of you childhood...........
How did you handle various situations when you were in them and felt the same emmotions from childhood swelling up again? In essence, it having nothing to do with your partner but all to do with you and your ( Read more... )

Sorry I've disappeared. I do that on livejournal a lot. And when things are going well, I don't write as much ( Read more... )

So yesturday was bad. Whats new?Im sorry for what I did. I truley am. I freaked out so bad, and I kinda, idk I guess put it on all my friend. For anyone who knows me, this friend of mine, Andrew, is like..everyhting. I love him and he loves me back.
But anyway, So the past weeks, actually months Ive just been having an incredibly hard time. First ( Read more... )

Ok. This might seem horrible but I don't want to go to the hospital to visit my mother. She had back surgery yesterday and will be there for a couple of days...or more. Probally more. I just don't want to go. I feel like she is a stranger. Not my mother. Everyone says, she's your mother, you have to learn to accept her and all her faults. But I ( Read more... )

What do you all do when you feel suicidal all of the time ( Read more... )